At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Be still, my beating vagina.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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