u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
