I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
