my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
