You really coming over, don't trick.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
