Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
