You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
