I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
