Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
