i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
