the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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