What a fucking waste of an outfit
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
