"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
