Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
