for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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