He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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