I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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