Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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