life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
