Is it because I queefed?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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