He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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