I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
