Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
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