I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
