I wannas sexs uuuuu
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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