just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
