Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
