Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
