im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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