Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Sorry my hands just texted you
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
