Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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