that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
