Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
do nipples grow back?
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