3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
