I'm so fucking centered right now
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
