why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
