First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
