tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
