Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
