You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
