She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
There's even glitter on my cock...
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