i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
