sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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