My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
