Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she peed on how many people?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
