Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
