we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
