I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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