I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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