Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
