You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
