are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
