another moral hangover. fuck.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
