my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
