chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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