drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
