I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize