She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
