the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
