I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
