it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
