My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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