you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
