just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we made out on top of his cat.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
