Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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