Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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